I haven't formed a coherent position yet, but now with Pride in Amsterdam these weeks I realized that I actually don't feel that much community with the people that supposedly are my community. I am a gay man, have in some way or another been aware of this since I was 7 years old, consciously aware since I was 12, and out since I was 18. For most of that time I did feel there was this gay/lesbian community that was maybe divided along gender lines but that by and large had goals that largely were the same.

Bisexuals carved out their niche as time passed. But even though I understood their separate identity, I saw a significant difference in the fact that they very often seemed to be comfortable with 'passing' in a way I wasn't. In a coarse way stated: sex with a bisexual man was ok, but I didn't trust them a step beyond that.
Then transsexuals tagged on. Again, not a major thing. I didn't quite understand them, like in being able to know what it means to feel you live in the wrong body. But I did understand why they'd seek out a corner of society that felt a little bit more welcoming and safer than society at large.

Where we stand today everyone can see. Gay and Lesbian is literally drowning in an alfabet soup and the rainbow flag that stood for all people is slowly being pushed out by something that preaches inclusivity, but does this in a way that is the opposite of inclusivity. And then some person in their twenties, identifying as non-binary, a-sexual and autistic (?) tries to get in with me under the umbrella of being queer. And I feel that actually, enough is enough, I am not willing to give up my identity for people who are utterly desperate to redefine themselves in a non-conforming way while all doing the bloody same. It's like the millennial tattoo craze.

The above has been brewing a while, but I felt like writing this after a report on a speaker at the pride march this weekend who ended his/her speech with a list of lives that mattered. Ending in - ironically enough -' all lives matter'.

I'm not part of their queer community, I will not fight their causes, I will not walk in their marches and I will not fly their flag. I am a gay man.