My children hate me

[Aimless]

At the same time though Minx, the tools for them to manage that complexity, the resources and aid available to help them when they're struggling or otherwise having problems, are immense and for the most part pretty accessible.

To a great extent that is absolutely true. On the other hand, the human brain hasn't changed all that much in 200 years, even if we now have less lead poisoning to deal with

[Lewkowski]

Stress, decision fatigue, depression and anxiety, suicides, obesity and associated problems, increased healthcare costs, increased educational costs, worse situation for single mothers, more single mothers, daddies in jail, always-on bullying, drugs and alcohol, driving,


Life was certainly hard, and in so many ways worse, way back when, but in many respects it was also simpler. I realise of course that you have difficulties even beginning to appreciate this notion due to your carefully cultivated Bible-based ragehate-generated father-provoked ignorance and stupidity, but many people on this planet do not have your admirable qualities or access to your kind of upbringing.

Stress - How would you measure it?

Decision fatigue - Ditto.

Depression and anxiety - Now this is interesting. Is it being over diagnosed today? Under diagnosed yesterday? Which is worse?

Suicides - Hey we found a metric we can work with.

Obesity and associated problems - Erm. Too much food, first world problems.

Increased Health Care Costs - Yeah cus dying would be cheaper - this is a double edged sword, part of the reason costs are up is because new procedures that costs thousands and thousands of dollars have been created that will save people's lives.

Increased educational costs - Balance this against the % of people who are still getting educated and I don't see how this works in your favor - though we are now a bit afield if we are talking about college.

Worse situations for single mothers - Income? Public Assistance? Social perception?

Daddies in jail - OK incarceration rate of fathers that would be a legit item.

Always-on Bullying - Eh were there studies down on bullying 50 years ago? If not it would be hard to make a comparison. Unless you're referring to social media?

Drugs and alcohol - Usage rates?

Driving - Eh?

And while I do have many admirable qualities even without them my life would still be better off today then it would 30 years ago. Or 60. Or a 150. I'd rather raise my child in today's generation then any past generation.

[ar81]

Obesity. Some times it is the result of choosing the wrong food. However, many times it is the result of compulsive eating. There is a support group called overeaters anonymous that provide support to this kind of compulsion. For alcoholics, it is somewhat easier, as they just need to put the bottle away, but people can't stop eating. So it makes compulsive eating a tough problem for those who suffer it. Without healing the soul, a body cannot be healed.

[GGT]

Having virtually no insight into what's actually happening here, I'm going to posit a completely unfounded and probably-incorrect hypothesis.

I couldn't help but notice that you've had your kids/family in group therapy before. Not every parent opens-up like that to their kids. Personally, I don't know anyone who has told me about being in therapy with their parents (even those who talk about going to therapy on their own). It sounds like a potentially-unique amount of openness.

Whatever happened with your kids, do you think it might be because there's a level of open-dialog that lets random emotional outbursts make their way to you?

I'm not being critical or even particularly knowledgable about group therapy with kids. I'm just wondering if some of that past open dialog may have led them to say something they may not truly mean, but nonetheless say because of past experiences with open family dialog.

I don't really know what you're saying, or asking.

The reason my kids and I sought counseling was because their father, my spouse, suddenly left, moved out. Suddenly means learning about Friday's move on Wednesday. It was just down the street, and it was only "temporary".

Later, I learned that he'd planned the whole thing as a personal escape, signing a mortgage, but told me it was simply a temporary lease. He didn't have any intention of coming home...but he lied straight faced to me....and our kids.

He even told our "marriage counselor" that he wasn't interested in marriage counseling....but wanted her to help him out of the marriage. I only know that because she left her notebook open and her notes were right there in big print. Is that a therapist technique?

I was crushed, devastated. It was a turning point. He didn't consider that I or our sons would be totally confused, heart broken, crushed. He still doesn't understand the emotional damage he caused. Our relationship remains strained. Our sons still struggle emotionally. They've gone from running away (down the street to their dad's house) to running away from their emotions (and an emotionally absent father). Yeah, that's the kind of shit that calls for counseling and therapy.